If you stop, look, and listen.
The next time you encounter challenging circumstances, entangled communication, or a moment of explosive excitement be sure to take some time to extract a pearl of wisdom from the drama.
First, we need to make a conscious effort to step back and inhale.
You may be lost in a storm of emotional reactivity if your buttons have been pushed or status quo has been threatened. Or, you may be so entranced with enthusiasm that your mind is pumping on high speed creating ever-more more attachment. Our knee-jerk reaction is to blend with strong thoughts and emotions, or to judge ourselves for having them.
Finding Clarity in Confusion
These four steps help me to find clarity in confusion or passion. Try them out and see if they help you, too.
- Extricate yourself from an unresourced state. Whatever the emotion - anger, fear, anxiety, sadness, unworthiness, or enthusiasm - let it settle. Remember, you are not your emotion. Emotions are just clouds passing by in the sky. Breathe. Soothe yourself.
- Be aware of any judgements that may be arising about your thoughts and emotions. Release these too.
- Create space to reflect on this particular personal drama. Journal, reflect, draw, or discuss the experience with a friend or therapist to allow the essential lessons to emerge. Capture your insights on paper.
- Consider the new steps you will take to move in a different direction. Chart them out in a simple, doable way.
As an example, here are two recent scenes from my own life along with the pearls I extracted.
As we walked along a grass path high above the waves, onyx lava contrasting against blue sky-ocean and jungle green, our animated conversation centered on the subtleties of meditation and thus the nature of reality itself. I felt so passionate!
Insight: I need daily doses of inspirational study and periodic conversation with like-minded friends.
I couldn’t believe this was happening once again. He was encouraging me to plan ahead and be more efficient in managing my personal tasks. At first I protested, “I’m doing the best I can.” Nevertheless, my self-esteem plummeted and I went into a funk. I was momentarily trapped in a parent-child dynamic.
Insight: I never learned to take care of myself or prioritize my needs as a child. When I hear well-intentioned suggestions I sometimes fall into feelings of low self-worth and snap into a state of overwhelm. On reflection, I clarified that I actually want to break this pattern of flying by the seat of my pants and learn to make space and time for my personal responsibilities.
Life flashes by like a stream speeding over a mountain cliff. Unless you pause and reflect on your life experiences, old habits and patterns will continue to dominate your life and detract from your happiness. Instead, extract your wisdom pearls and string them together into a meaningful and satisfying life.
Have there been any provocative scenes in your life of late? How do you extract the wisdom pearls from your life?
Thank you for your presence, I know your time is precious! Don’t forget to sign up for my e-letter and get access to all the free self-development resources (e-books, mini-guides + worksheets) in the Always Well Within Library. May you be happy, well, and safe – always. With love, Sandra