Do You Feel Like You Don't Belong?
Do you feel like you don’t belong? In your family, your life, or this world?
I sometimes feel I don't belong on this planet. I'm too sensitive. It's too harsh, too violent, too overwhelming. Do you feel that way sometimes too?
Many people like me who express the "leaving pattern" from the "5 personality patterns" didn't feel welcomed into this world. Often, they continue to feel like they don't belong even as adults.
I'd like to heal these feelings around not belonging.
A sweet image came to me a few days ago of being welcomed as a baby by "the grandmothers" - elder wise women. The grandmothers encircled me as a baby, swaying and gently playing their drums and other instruments. Their faces expressed delight at my presence in the world, as if they were saying, "No one belongs here more than you."
The next day, at the health food store, I happened upon one of the workers as I browsed the aisles. She welcomed me in the warmest of ways, as though the grandmothers had tipped her off. That made me smile and appreciate the way the universe reflects back what we need to heal or learn.
It might have been true. Maybe I wasn't welcomed into this world as a baby. But I've solidified the story by repeating it again and again. Bréne Brown reminds us not to do that:
"Stop walking through the world looking for confirmation that you don’t belong. You will always find it because you’ve made that your mission. Stop scouring people’s faces for evidence that you’re not enough. You will always find it because you’ve made that your goal. True belonging and self-worth are not goods; we don’t negotiate their value with the world. The truth about who we are lives in our hearts. Our call to courage is to protect our wild heart against constant evaluation, especially our own. No one belongs here more than you."
Whatever happened as a child is done. Now, it's up to me to interrupt this pattern when I notice it taking over, and to finally heal the story of not belonging.
If you feel like you don't belong, try to catch yourself when the story comes up and begins to hurt your heart. What could you tell yourself as an antidote to those false beliefs? What kind of image or visualization could you use — like my beautiful grandmothers —that could help you begin to heal this wound?
Do you feel like you don't belong? What do you do to turn that story on its head? I would love to hear. Please share your thoughts in the comments.
P. S. As many of you know, I've evacuated my home due to the lava eruptions on the Big Island of Hawaii. Rest assured, I'm in a safe place. I'll keep writing for you as best I can, but my posts may be shorter for awhile as I continue to navigate these stressful, uncertain times.
Thank you for your presence, I know your time is precious! Don’t forget to sign up for Wild Arisings, my twice monthly letters from my heart filled with insights, inspiration, and ideas to help you connect with and live from your truest self. May you be happy, well, and safe – always. With love, Sandra